Sorry - one more iphone post.

It's all I can think of.  Yesterday I interrogated an Apple Store employee who was wearing a blue Apple store t-shirt and upper *and* lower retainers in his mouth.

Me:  So are you getting iphones tomorrow?

Him:  We don't know.

Me:  You don't know.  How do you suggest I procure an iphone?

Him:  Your best bet is to call at 12 noon and see if we have any in stock.

Me:  What?!  I thought they get sold out in minutes.  That people line up.

Him (turning around to another Apple dork): Do people line up anymore?  (to me) No, you should be fine calling at 12 noon.

Me:  Well, if you say so...

Last night after checking the page of lies, Mr. Insomniac and I made plans to camp out for iphones and ignore what the retainer wearer said.  We would get there crazy early and each get our black 16g iphones.  Little did Mr. Insomniac know, I was planning a double cross.  The real plan was to send him out on a reconnaissance mission to gather intelligence.  Come 7:30am when he was shaking me awake - I buried myself under the blankets.  He went off without me and I hit the snooze button until he came bounding up the stairs two hours later.

His report from the field:

Him:  I got there at around 7:40 and I was number 17 in line.  By the time an Apple employee opened the door at 9am, the line had stretched to over 50 people.  They only had 25 iphones so everyone who was standing past the Lucky store just had to go home.  

Me:  Did they get anything?  A business card?!

Him:  No.  They just went home.  They went quietly.

Me: Whoa.

Him:  The rest of us, they put our names on a sheet of paper. 

Me:  What kind of paper?

Him:  A sheet of loose leaf paper.  

Me:  Interesting...  Were people sitting on the ground?

Him:  Yes.  I was in the golf chair.

Me: What chair?  We have a chair?

Him:  Yes.  I keep it in my trunk.  

Me:  I'll be needing that chair.

Him:  Are you going to let me finish this or what?

Me:  Okay!  I'm just trying to get all the details.  Please, go on.

Him:   They only had 10 black iphones.  

Me:  Only 1o?!!

Him:  I reserved a 16gig white iphone for you.  Do you want it?

Me: *silence*

Him:  Insomniac, do you want it?!  You only have 10 minutes to get it!  Do you want it???

*insomniac thinks of the shiny black iphone.  How she's been wanting this for months.  But also how she has no phone and has to use pay phones that smell weird.  How she has no ipod.*

Me:  NO!  I want the black one!  I want the black one!  (buries face in pillow)

Him:  You're not making sense.  You have no phone.  It'll be in the case anyway.  No one will ever know it's the white one.

Me:  No!  I'll know!  Black! ..... Wait - how come you didn't get one?

Him:  Are you crazy?  I want the black one.

So now I have the intelligence info and know what it takes.  The obsession has reached a fever pitch.  I have formulated a new plan.  Tomorrow I will camp out.  I will arrive at 6:30am.  I will bring the golf chair, a book, and a half caf skinny sugar free vanilla latte.  

I will get my black iphone.   I can taste it.