Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Dinner and a movie in Westwood

We watch a lot of movies. My favorite theater is the Landmark on Pico - they have ridiculously comfortable chairs, a bar, but best of all, the ability to reserve seats. No need to get to a movie 20 minutes before starting time to ensure that you're not craning your neck from the front row. But since Mr. Insomniac showed me this article in the LA Times that discusses the downfall of the Westwood movie palaces, I've been making an effort to support those theaters.

Excerpts from the article:
The closing Thursday night of the Mann Festival Theatre on Lindbrook Drive -- on top of last year's demolition of the Mann National Theatre and previous losses of the Mann Westwood 4 and Mann Plaza, among others -- is further indication that Westwood's movie culture appears in danger of fading to black.

Preservationists are also bracing for the potential loss of the village's two most architecturally distinctive theaters: the Village and Bruin, which date from the 1930s. Encino-based Mann Theatres has given notice that it intends not to renew its leases on the Broxton Avenue theaters -- one Spanish Mission style with the famed neon-lighted Fox tower, the other Art Moderne with a distinctive wraparound marquee. Both are city historic-cultural monuments.

When Mr. Insomniac was a student at UCLA, he used to head into Westwood Village all the time for the big summer movie premieres - but now those events have moved elsewhere. I remember running to the balcony to see the latest film as a kid. Westwood was the place to go for opening weekend.


The Mann Bruin.

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We watched Inglorious Basterds at the Mann Village.

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Lots of places to eat pre- or post- show...


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The famous Didi Reese cookies.... 50 cookies for 10 cents. No matter what time of day, there's always a line.

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A few blocks south of Westwood Village on Westwood Blvd (north of Pico) is an area known as Little Persia. There are various shops, services, and of course, restaurants.

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One night we went to Flame. (different night, different camera. lol) The interior was interesting (lots of plasma tvs) but I really liked the tanoor oven that served up hot flatbread all night long.

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As an appetizer and accompaniment to our meal we got masto'khiar, a combination of yogurt, cucumber, and mint.

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The salads were delicious and consisted of crisp fresh produce. No dried out carrots and cukes here.

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For the entree, I got the rack of lamb. It looked much better than this when it first arrived at the table. lol At any rate, they were perfectly cooked - tender, juicy, flavorful... some of the best meat I've eaten in a long time.

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Mr. Insom got the chelo kebab, seasoned ground beef with charred veggies.

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It was a lot of food... Mr. Insom wasn't a fan of his meal for some reason, so I ate both of these dishes for the next three days. :)

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Room: Worst Movie of All Time

I love movies and watching them in movie theaters. Every once in a while, though, I see a bad one. But on rare occasions, that movie is so bad that you aren't the only one that realizes it. Some one lets out a loud guffaw in the middle of a key dramatic scene and everyone laughs. Then it's on. Everyone in the theater begins piling on - ad-libing, laughing, swearing... it becomes a free for all. This is a very rare occurrence, unfortunately. The last movie I remember like this was Original Sin starring Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderas.


But if you go and check out The Room, you can have this experience every month.

Worst movie of all time?

Quite possibly. Check out the trailer to get a taste...



On the last Saturday of the month, Laemmle's Sunset 5 shows The Room in all of the theaters.
We tried going to check it out last month but the tickets were sold out. On Saturday we got there an hour and half before showtime and there were about 80 people in line already. The guy in front of us had seen it 6 or 7 times and he handed me a large package of spoons. What am I supposed to do with these? You'll know, he replied. Okay then. He said that after an Entertainment Weekly article discussed the show, all kinds of people starting showing up. Like me - that's where I heard about it.

Excitement coursed through the line as murmurs of a Tommy sighting ran through the waiting crowd. Sure enough, a man wearing a black sport coat appeared and stood on a trashcan to thunderous applause. He made his way down the line, posing for pictures and signing autographs. When I first saw him, I thought that he had some sort of developmental delay and asked what happened to his face. Mr. Insom told me to stop being mean.

The movie difficult to follow the plot because (1) it was disjointed and confusing and (2) people were screaming at the top of their lungs over the dialogue. lol

It was definitely a good time.

Folks would shout (often in unison) when the camera went out of focus ("FOCUS!!"), when actors look directly into the camera ("DON'T LOOK AT THE CAMERA!"), when new characters would just suddenly appear inside the protagonist's home ("WHO ARE YOU?"), at the obvious green screen work, the random b-roll shots, at the fact that characters walk into a house without knocking or ringing the doorbell and leave in two minutes with a cavalier "Well, I have to go" (audience response: "YOU JUST GOT THERE!!"), etc.

The sets were horrible. On a table were these framed pictures of spoons, and every time they were in a shot, you were supposed to throw plastic spoons at the screen. By the door was the ugly painting and when one guy yelled "NICE FUCHSIA SAND PAINTING!" the entire theater cracked up.

The writing is bad. The acting is bad. Tommy has this weird accent thing going which makes everything unintentionally hilarious. ("I did naaaaaat.") In the clip below someone shouted "WHY ARE THERE FLOWERS IN A TRASHCAN?"



Sometimes I wondered if he was stoned during 80% of the filming. Case in point? This bizarre temper tantrum. After this crucial scene, several people stood up at gave Tommy's acting performance a standing ovation.



What I was unprepared for was the crazy sex scenes. I suppose previously I was of the mindset that any sex scene was a good one as long as it was a consensual one and didn't involve any depiction of illegal activity. (Jodi Foster in The Accused? Not a good sex scene.) I have since revised my opinion.

Watching Tommy was like watching a reptilian insect mounting. It was shockingly distasteful. The whole audience would groan in disgust. Some of the more sensitive viewers were hiding their eyes. At one point Tommy strokes his partner's face with a rose, Dick in a Box style. And then they couple in a bed strewn with rose petals. The woman rolls over and there are two rose petals clinging desparately to her back and one guy screams "LEECHES!" to raucous laughter.

And the music. The sex scene music. It was like this cheesy generic R&B smooth jazz Night Jamz stuff. Everyone would merrily clap along to the beat during the intimate moments which cracked me up to no end.



During another sex scene folks yelled "INTERMISSION!" and proceeded to walk out and mill about the lobby for two minutes.

I won't spoil the ending, but rest assured that this chef d'oeuvre has to be seen to be believed. I'm seriously considering buying the DVD. lol

Friday, September 25, 2009

Sadness, a haiku elegy

Last night I finished
my bottle of St. Germain.
Farewell, floral friend.


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Conan: Tall, White, and Funny

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For some reason all of my favorite TV hosts tape in New York (Senors Colbert and Stewart) so when another favorite made his way to Los Angeles, I knew I had to check him out live. And besides, the tickets are free.

So I went to NBC's Tonight Show website and requested tickets for me and Mr. Insom.

You're allowed to get four tickets at a time and you can request tickets for 4 dates. They generally book at least 4-6 weeks in advance. I put on my request that "I live here - I can do any date" and I got an email on Aug 11 for Sept 22nd.

You can also do standby tickets...

The tickets are free, but parking for public transportation-phobic Angelenos is $10.

A few days before the taping, Mr. Insom got an add-on case, so he wouldn't be joining me. Bummer. The day of the taping I called to see who would be on the show. Rebecca Romijn (non-Stamos). Double bummer. Lisa Lampanlli is okay, I supposed. Monsters of Rock? Never heard of them.


I was instructed to be there NO LATER THAN 3:30pm.

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So of course my dumb ass rolls up to the gate at 3:39pm out of breath and sweaty. That's me - chronically late. I got put in the bull pen with standby people. I'm not sure what would have happened if I had gotten there on time... maybe I would have waited in an air conditioned soundstage with a ladened craft services table.

I got handed a decorative bracelet

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and this card.

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I noticed some people had a lighter orange card. I wonder if those were the people with reservations that got there on time...

As it was though, I was stuck in the bullpen audience holding area. I know from personal experience that these shows treat audience members like cattle and there is a lot of waiting. But i came prepared. Between my paperbook novel, Monopoly on my iphone, and assorted web surfing sites, I kept myself sufficiently entertained.

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The heat, well, that was another matter.

The valley was like a full 10 degrees hotter than where I live. It was sweltering. I was grateful that we were under an awning to shelter us from the sun. NBC also had set up fans that blew mist which quickly evaporated into nothingness. Without the mist though, I guess the fans would just be pushing around hot air. I was appreciating the mist (and the lawsuit that probably mandated it) until I overheard someone remark that the mist smelled just like the water at the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. The sad thing was that he was exactly right.

In addition to the stinky mist, NBC had set up kegs of water and watered down Gatorade. Unfortunately, there were only a handful of cups. I was one of the lucky ones to get a plastic cup, and guarded it fiercely - prison yard style.

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I felt bad though, because anyone affiliated with NBC was wearing grey suits, a la Kenneth the Page. lol Those must have been hella uncomfortable.



Then we were off, heading through the gates of Universal Studios... Cameras off, phones off, no more pictures.

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The set was blissfully air-conditioned and looked really cool. Just like on TV lol. Lots of monitors were overhead so we could see the different cameras and watch the funny Conan videos.



We got a warm-up guy that riffed a little on the fact that a guy named Luis was vacationing here from Mexico, and then the band played for a bit. They're quite good - you don't get to hear much of them on the show, but all of the musicians are really talented.

Next up was Conan. He is indeed very tall and skinny and is incredibly charming.

I got a kick out of seeing the Super Mario Bros. inspired backdrop live...

(Image courtesy of Serious Lunch)

I really liked the Manga voiceover video. Funny stuff Conan and Andy.



Rebecca was meh.

Lisa was pretty entertaining, and watching Conan squirm through her "I didn't know whether to service my husband's huge schlong or feed it a peanut" ribald humor was an added bonus. Andy was cracking up, though. lol

Monsters of Rock's performance was blissfully short. Heh.

Today Tim Gunn is scheduled to appear. Oh man! And tomorrow is Joel McHale and India.Arie. Dang. Oh well... luck of the draw.

In what felt like no time at all, the taping was done. I believe taping started at 5:30 and we were out by 6:15. Conan and all the famous people left the set. The guy sitting next to me pulled out his cellphone and in a second, one of the gray-suited pages descended upon him. They are serious. I had pulled out my phone as well, but when I saw that, I slowly put it back.


We were dismissed by sections and shuffled out of the studio, watched closely by assorted security personnel.

As we walked along the sidewalk ("do not go in the street!") someone handed me this card.

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"Want to brag to your friends that you so Conan live? Then get the official Tonight Show badge to put on your Blog, Website, Facebook profile..."

Neat-o. A badge for me blog.

But apparently, said badge hasn't worked since August. I found that out after I did the tedious task of registering on NBC's stupid website with a bunch of fake info.

Lame.

So I made my own blog badge.

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Yep. All kinds of awesome.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Musuem of Natural History, part I

A couple of weekend ago Mr. Insom and I headed to the Museum of Natural History for the hell of it. Next to the Tar Pits, the Natural History Museum was my favorite museum as a kid. It was nice to see that my favorite parts hadn't changed much and I had a great time dragging Mr. Insomniac around to the best parts.

Loved the T-rex and triceratops on display. I love dinosaurs. :)

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Then we spent some time looking at the dioramas. I love these exhibits - they're so "old school" history museum - curio cabinets, rich wood panels, limited lighting, stuffed dead animals, high ceilings that lend themselves to echoes... They don't make exhibits like this anymore.

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Next up was the hall of gems. I don't really wear jewelry, but even I can appreciate this bling.

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This exhibit on Zuni fetishes caught our eye. They're small carvings of animals that traditionally had ceremonial and sacred functions where the holder would take on the powers and properties of the animal.

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After our first date back in 1999, I attended a conference in Albuquerque and saw a small, hand-carved black marble fetish in the shape of bear with tiny turquoise eyes. I bought it for Mr. Insom, even though I had just him and it cost like 30 bucks and I was a poor struggling grad student living on $12,000 a year. I don't normally buy presents for a guy after a first date, but something just drew me to this object and I parted with the cash. When I gave it to him, he loved it and was really touched. And we lived happily ever after... lol

I'm typing this from his desk and now would be a perfect time to say something like "and I'm looking the gift right now as I write (sigh)" but it's probably buried under mounds of mail, articles, and whatever other crap is on here and I don't see it. If he's lost it, he's in trouble.


Next up was the Dino Lab, which made me seethe with envy. The La Brea Tar Pits hasn't called me about being a volunteer, even though I've left messages. Bummer.

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Look at that concentration. That totally could be me.

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Finally we headed to the "touch 'n feel family fun" part of the museum that features live animals.

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Or mostly live animals. These pelts made me a little queasy - they were like handling carcasses. They even had little noses and whiskers attached. Gross.

But the live animals were cool and consisted mostly of bugs like the walking stick

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and this adorable little guy.

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I like how he stayed so still for my pictures. I like turtles too, buddy!


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We noticed that it was 3pm and time for our entry into the butterfly exhibit, so we took off.

After the butterfly exhibit, we were experiencing some major museum fatigue, but I dragged Mr. Insom through the Rose Garden for some more photo opps.

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