Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Room: Worst Movie of All Time

I love movies and watching them in movie theaters. Every once in a while, though, I see a bad one. But on rare occasions, that movie is so bad that you aren't the only one that realizes it. Some one lets out a loud guffaw in the middle of a key dramatic scene and everyone laughs. Then it's on. Everyone in the theater begins piling on - ad-libing, laughing, swearing... it becomes a free for all. This is a very rare occurrence, unfortunately. The last movie I remember like this was Original Sin starring Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderas.

But if you go and check out The Room, you can have this experience every month.

Worst movie of all time?

Quite possibly. Check out the trailer to get a taste...

On the last Saturday of the month, Laemmle's Sunset 5 shows The Room in all of the theaters.
We tried going to check it out last month but the tickets were sold out. On Saturday we got there an hour and half before showtime and there were about 80 people in line already. The guy in front of us had seen it 6 or 7 times and he handed me a large package of spoons. What am I supposed to do with these? You'll know, he replied. Okay then. He said that after an Entertainment Weekly article discussed the show, all kinds of people starting showing up. Like me - that's where I heard about it.

Excitement coursed through the line as murmurs of a Tommy sighting ran through the waiting crowd. Sure enough, a man wearing a black sport coat appeared and stood on a trashcan to thunderous applause. He made his way down the line, posing for pictures and signing autographs. When I first saw him, I thought that he had some sort of developmental delay and asked what happened to his face. Mr. Insom told me to stop being mean.

The movie difficult to follow the plot because (1) it was disjointed and confusing and (2) people were screaming at the top of their lungs over the dialogue. lol

It was definitely a good time.

Folks would shout (often in unison) when the camera went out of focus ("FOCUS!!"), when actors look directly into the camera ("DON'T LOOK AT THE CAMERA!"), when new characters would just suddenly appear inside the protagonist's home ("WHO ARE YOU?"), at the obvious green screen work, the random b-roll shots, at the fact that characters walk into a house without knocking or ringing the doorbell and leave in two minutes with a cavalier "Well, I have to go" (audience response: "YOU JUST GOT THERE!!"), etc.

The sets were horrible. On a table were these framed pictures of spoons, and every time they were in a shot, you were supposed to throw plastic spoons at the screen. By the door was the ugly painting and when one guy yelled "NICE FUCHSIA SAND PAINTING!" the entire theater cracked up.

The writing is bad. The acting is bad. Tommy has this weird accent thing going which makes everything unintentionally hilarious. ("I did naaaaaat.") In the clip below someone shouted "WHY ARE THERE FLOWERS IN A TRASHCAN?"

Sometimes I wondered if he was stoned during 80% of the filming. Case in point? This bizarre temper tantrum. After this crucial scene, several people stood up at gave Tommy's acting performance a standing ovation.

What I was unprepared for was the crazy sex scenes. I suppose previously I was of the mindset that any sex scene was a good one as long as it was a consensual one and didn't involve any depiction of illegal activity. (Jodi Foster in The Accused? Not a good sex scene.) I have since revised my opinion.

Watching Tommy was like watching a reptilian insect mounting. It was shockingly distasteful. The whole audience would groan in disgust. Some of the more sensitive viewers were hiding their eyes. At one point Tommy strokes his partner's face with a rose, Dick in a Box style. And then they couple in a bed strewn with rose petals. The woman rolls over and there are two rose petals clinging desparately to her back and one guy screams "LEECHES!" to raucous laughter.

And the music. The sex scene music. It was like this cheesy generic R&B smooth jazz Night Jamz stuff. Everyone would merrily clap along to the beat during the intimate moments which cracked me up to no end.

During another sex scene folks yelled "INTERMISSION!" and proceeded to walk out and mill about the lobby for two minutes.

I won't spoil the ending, but rest assured that this chef d'oeuvre has to be seen to be believed. I'm seriously considering buying the DVD. lol


weezermonkey said...

What the?

10yearstogether said...

I would be completely out of my element during a movie like this. It sure isn't of the He's Just Not That Into You variety.