Monday, August 24, 2009

I heart IKEA

On Saturday we went to IKEA to pick up some items for Mr. Insom's office. And I wanted to get some vases.

I believe IKEA pumps in some sort of strange sedative in their warehouses. Everyone shuffles along the prescribed path without complaint armed with little golf pencils and paper tape measures. First living room, then dining room, then office... it's sort of like a ride at Disney - full of interesting shiny things to point at and delight in. You can't get off or find an exit door, so you just sit back and enjoy the ride. Besides, have you ever tried to go circumvent the IKEA trail? One time I got directions to the restroom and I was lost for 30 minutes.

I found myself looking all around in a daze. I couldn't focus on anything in particular - my focus on a leather arm chair that was surprisingly comfortable was quickly lost to a throw rug. And then to a magazine rack. Mr. Insom noticed it too. "Look at this lamp," I marveled, fingering at its delicate texture. He looked at me with utter puzzlement and a growing alarm - "What is wrong with you?" His voice appeared to be coming from far away. "Huh?" My eyes wandered past his face as I fingered a throw pillow. "Come on," he ordered and pulled me away. Once I had taken a few steps past the fascinating object and entered the kid room section, I blinked a couple of times and my mind became clearer. Whew.

But then I saw my favorite thing in the whole IKEA world. The 400sq house. In case you have no idea what I'm talking about, IKEA creates model houses in their showroom that features all IKEA products. It is the model of efficient use of space and organization and probably costs like $532.

I love the IKEA houses so much. When I'm walking through it, I like to pretend that it's my home in my make believe life where I'm a carefree latte-drinking editor in Manhattan. I marvel at the hooks on the back of doors, the handy stand near the entrance for sorting mail and keys, the pull out drawers in the kitchen. It is like the neatest, most organized space ever and such a far cry from my sty of an apartment. When I finally snap, look for me at the Burbank IKEA. I'll be trying to wash bras in the bathroom sink of the 350sq model home and threatening other shoppers with the Blaska broom and Slitbar meatcleaver.

Then we get to the marketplace free for all on the ground floor where I run around with my arms full of crap yelling for Mr. Insom to get the cart! get the cart!

I bought 3 of these small bud vases like this for $.79 each.

And three of these votive holders.

And enough tea light and assorted candles to burn down my apartment.

In the warehouse section where you look for the furniture, we managed to find only one of the items we were interested. Yay for IKEA!

I think we spent like four hours in there. Time stands still at IKEA. We came out dehydrated, hungry, and unable to stand sunlight. We went home and promptly crashed into a fitful post-IKEA slumber.

But Wednesday is rib night, y'all!



weezermonkey said...

I've heard IKEA food is good. I was hoping for a review at the end of this post. Heh.

dapotato said...

best post.

i have learned the ins and out of the carson ikea and can get in and out in 20 minutes now. with only what i need in hand. no, i'm not particularly proud of this.

weemo, the food's aiite. it's good for the price. it's on the upper end of decent cafeteria food. the hot dogs and froyo are dang good and cheap. the 99 cent breakfast the pasta the meatballs are decent and a good value since they include meat.

Dunc said...

How has weemz not yet eaten IKEA food?!?!?! Lingonberries!

Ryan and I are heading up to Minneapolis in the fall, and you can be damn sure we are carving out at least half a day for IKEA. Pretty much, we're using our friends' hospitality to shop until we drop :-)

amber said...

Oh Ikea, how I heart you so. We love that their furniture holds up well and totally tricks people into thinking we paid big bucks for it at Crate and Barrel. Hehehe.

saranyc said...

Now you can watch some funny stuff about IKEA too: